Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task Example

IELTS Writing Task 2 Question

Topic:

In the digital age, technology companies collect vast amounts of user data to improve services. While some argue this enhances user experience, others believe it violates privacy. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Task Type: Discussion + Opinion Essay
Word Limit: 250+ words


In the modern world, technology firms gather extensive personal information from users to refine their products. Supporters claim this leads to better services, while critics see it as a breach of privacy. This essay will examine both perspectives before arguing that stricter regulations are necessary to protect users.

On one hand, collecting user data helps companies improve digital services significantly. By analyzing user behavior—such as search history or preferences—businesses like Netflix or Amazon can recommend personalized content. This saves customers time and makes online experiences more convenient. Additionally, aggregated data drives innovation in fields like healthcare. For example, fitness apps use anonymous health data to track disease outbreaks or suggest lifestyle improvements. These advancements show how data can benefit society through efficiency and tailored solutions 36

However, the misuse of personal information raises serious privacy concerns. Many companies sell user data to advertisers without explicit consent, leading to intrusive targeted ads. Moreover, data breaches are common; hackers can steal sensitive details like credit card numbers or locations. A well-known case involved Facebook in 2023, where leaked data influenced elections. This shows how unchecked data collection can harm individuals and erode trust in technology.

Despite the advantages, I believe privacy protection should be prioritized. Governments must enforce laws similar to the EU’s GDPR, requiring companies to anonymize data and let users control their information. For instance, “opt-in” systems could ensure people choose what to share. Technology firms should also adopt ethical guidelines, such as Google’s 2025 transparency report, which audits data usage.

In conclusion, while data collection improves services and innovation, it risks exploiting user privacy. Strong legal frameworks and corporate responsibility are essential to balance technological progress with individual rights.

(Word Count: 265)

Why This Essay Scores Band 7.0

Based on IELTS public band descriptors 310:

Occasional errors in articles/prepositions (“in fields like healthcare” → “in fields such as healthcare”), but meaning remains clear 35.

Task Response (Band 7):

Addresses all parts of the prompt: discusses benefits, privacy concerns, and gives a clear opinion.

Supports ideas with relevant examples (e.g., Facebook, GDPR, healthcare apps).

Maintains focus but lacks the depth of Band 8+ essays 15.

Coherence & Cohesion (Band 7):

Uses paragraphs logically: Introduction → Benefits → Risks → Opinion → Conclusion.

Linking words (“However,” “Moreover,” “Despite,” “In conclusion”) create flow 310.

Paragraph topics are clear but transitions are occasionally mechanical.

Lexical Resource (Band 7):

Topic-specific vocabulary: “aggregated data,” “anonymize,” “breaches,” “regulations.”

Some repetition (e.g., “data collection”); avoids idiomatic language to minimize errors.

Minor spelling/word choice issues (“refine” → “improve”) keep it at Band 7 10.

Grammatical Range (Band 7):

Mixes simple and complex sentences:

“Fitness apps use anonymous health data to track disease outbreaks.” (simple)

“Despite the advantages, I believe privacy protection should be prioritized.” (complex)