Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task Example

ELTS Writing Task 2 Question

Topic:

In the digital age, technology companies collect vast amounts of user data to improve services. While some argue this enhances user experience, others believe it violates privacy. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Task Type: Discussion + Opinion Essay
Word Limit: 250+ words

Technology company collects data from people. This make services better but some people think it is bad for privacy. I talk about both and my think.

Data collection is good because company know what people like. For example, YouTube show videos you like to watch. This make easy to find good things. Also, for health app, data help give advice for exercise. This make life better.

But data collection is problem. Many company use data for advertising. People get many ads and feel angry. Sometimes hacker steal data. Like Facebook problem. This make people afraid from technology.

I think privacy important. Government should make law. Company must ask people before take data. People can say no.Technology company help with data but privacy is important. Law can help.

(Word Count: 152)

Why This Scores Band 4.0

Based on IELTS Band 4 descriptors (“Limited User”) 6:

1. Task Response (Band 4):
   • Addresses the prompt simplistically but lacks development. Ideas are vague (e.g., “Facebook problem” without detail) 614.
   • Opinion is clear but unsupported (“Government should make law”).
2. Coherence & Cohesion (Band 4):
   • Uses basic paragraphs but no linking words except “but,” “also,” and “because” 5.
   • Sentences are choppy and repetitive (e.g., “This make…”).
3. Lexical Resource (Band 4):
   • Very limited vocabulary: Repeats “data,” “company,” “people.” Uses simplistic terms (“bad,” “good,” “problem”) 514.
   • Errors in word choice: “afraid from” (correct: afraid of), “my think” (correct: my opinion).
4. Grammar (Band 4):
   • Frequent errors:
     • Missing articles (“Technology company” → Technology companies).
     • Incorrect verb forms (“company collects” → companies collect; “make” → makes).
     • Sentence fragments (“Like Facebook problem”).